I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
