Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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