Its about making memories worth repressing
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
