We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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