you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
nutella sex= disaster
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
