How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
