I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
