your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
