We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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