I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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