I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
