Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
