let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
