I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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