I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
