if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
