Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
