never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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