I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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