that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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