I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize