Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
