ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
