Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We're too hungover to prance.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
