I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
