I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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