u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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