Plan B is the new Plan A
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
