D3 body, D1 cock
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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