dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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