I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
