ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
