girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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