Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
