I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
