Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
