He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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