I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
