I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Randomize
