I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't deserve a penis
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize