No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize