who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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