If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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