She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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