And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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