ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
