It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sorry about my life...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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