Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
