I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
