I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
