best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
