weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
