U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
