I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she looked like the before picture.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
