You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
