Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
