Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
