You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize