I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
